How To Be More Confident
See your greatness
When you know your strengths and weaknesses, it’s easy to see your own greatness. The key is to focus on how your strengths are working for you—and use them as leverage to improve the areas in which you’re not so strong.
For example, let’s say that one of your strengths is being an excellent communicator. When you know this about yourself, it becomes easier to imagine how effective communication can help you navigate other areas of life with more ease and confidence.
By contrast, consider one of the most common weaknesses: lack of confidence itself. It may seem like something that takes away from your greatness, but when you think about it objectively and rationally (a skill that grows with better communication), the opposite is true: lack of confidence is actually a strength in disguise!
We’ve already looked at some ways that high levels of self-confidence can be off-putting or even unhelpful; now let’s take a look at why having low levels of self-confidence can be advantageous.
Forget about “perfection”
Here’s the truth: no one is perfect. Perfection doesn’t exist. Don’t waste your time chasing something that isn’t real, trying to be someone you’re not. Instead, focus on doing your best and embrace your imperfections. Find beauty in the things that make you different and unique. It’s okay to have weaknesses. Learn from failures and mistakes and use them as opportunities for growth.
Identify your values
When you consistently live your core values, you will notice a correlation between your well-being and your level of fulfilment.
It’s important to identify what is most important to you at this moment in time, as these things may change during different periods of life. However, it’s also possible that some people have the same core values their entire lives.
An essential activity for boosting self-confidence is to brainstorm a list of what matters most to you in life (your core values).
Core values are those things that are truly important to us. They are ideas or concepts that make up our character and guide our actions and decisions every day. They are the principles we want to live by every day.
However, if we’re not aware of what these principles are in our lives, we can’t effectively manage them and consistent conflicts arise (e.g., frequent arguments with loved ones about money management) or we gradually drift away from our closest friends because we no longer share common interests.
When we operate from a place of integrity with ourselves and others—when we live according to our personal moral code—we experience less inner conflict and drama affecting our self-esteem levels
Meditate and become mindful of the present
The first step to becoming confident is to cultivate mindfulness. Mindfulness is being aware of the present moment without judgement. It’s something we naturally learn as children, but often forget over time as our minds fill with past regrets and future worries. When you lose this ability to “be in the moment”, your mind becomes a confusing whirlpool of chaos, which can make it difficult to think clearly and make decisions that best serve you.
Mindfulness is part of eastern philosophies like yoga and meditation, but these don’t need to be complicated or religious practices. In fact, they’re not! Mindfulness simply means paying attention to whatever you are doing right now and noticing how it feels—it can be as simple and automatic as breathing or eating a meal. Focusing on what you are doing right now, it will help calm your mind so that you can see things more clearly, ultimately helping you make better decisions for yourself.
Take self-care to the next level
Confidence can come from a lot of places, but the first place to start is by taking care of yourself. Sleep, for example, is the foundation for everyday health.
If you aren’t feeling rested when you wake up in the morning, it’s time to shift your bedtime routine or nightly habits. Aiming for eight hours of sleep per night is a good place to start—but it’s important to change that amount if you need more or less.
Sleep resources aside, eating well and exercising are two ways in which we take care of our bodies. If you’re already doing this but still find yourself feeling tired or sluggish all day, consider adding an extra hour at the gym per week or eating more greens throughout the day.
If you want something a little simpler than changing your daily exercise routine? Drink more water! Staying hydrated will help keep fatigue at bay throughout the day and make sure our minds are clear so we can be on top of our game every time we speak up in meetings (or anywhere else).
Be kinder to yourself
- Be kinder to yourself.
- It’s important to be careful not to slip into negative thinking and self-criticism. We all have moments where we feel low on confidence and this can tempt us to speak harsh words to ourselves in a way that we would never do with our friends, family, or even strangers. Don’t be your own bully! Instead of judging yourself, try giving yourself the same space you would give anyone else who made a mistake. If you do something challenging, pick up a new skill, or take a risk then good for you! You might not always get it right first time but building confidence is all about trying new things and learning from the experience.
- Go easy on yourself if you don’t necessarily want to follow social media trends that are supposed to make you feel better about yourself during quarantine/isolation (e.g., skincare routines, art projects). Sometimes we just want to watch Netflix!
Be grateful for what you have and what you’ve achieved
One of the easiest ways to boost your confidence is to recognize that you are already enough. Instead of worrying about what you don’t have, focus on what you do have.
You might think, I want a trim and fit body like so-and-so. But instead, try thinking, I’m grateful for my healthy body; it allows me to be active in life—to play with my kids, to walk up stairs without being out of breath, or even just move around comfortably at work. You may not have a movie star’s body yet, but that doesn’t mean yours isn’t beautiful and useful in its own way!
You might think: I wish I had her house/car/life/wardrobe/love life…
Instead try thinking: I’m grateful for the home/car/life/(insert thing here) that works for me right now. It may not be ideal yet but it does allow me the freedom (or safety or comfort) that helps me reach my goals every day.
Healthy hormone levels boost confidence.
While this post has covered many ways to improve your mindset, ultimately it is also healthy hormones that boost confidence too. The best and most effective way to do this? See a naturopathic or low-carb doctor or another healthcare provider who specialises in hormone testing and natural balance. You can’t get the results you want by yourself, but with the right team of experts on your side, you’ll be well on your way to increased confidence, enhanced self-esteem, better relationships, improved performance at work/school/sports and much more!
Self-acceptance is the key ingredient for confidence
Confidence isn’t all about how you look, it starts with how you feel. Being comfortable in your own skin is the key to feeling confident, and that comes from self-acceptance.
To get started on the path to being kinder to yourself and more confident, just follow these five steps:
- Make a list of things you’re grateful for in your life right now—the big things and the small ones. Even if you don’t feel like there are many, focus on these and give thanks for them every day. Recognizing what we have can help us see what we do have instead of what we don’t have or think we want.
- Write down all your values – think about work, friends, love, hobbies – everything that means something to you. Check in with them often; consider whether they still accurately reflect who you are as a person and what’s important to you today. Remembering our values reminds us who we are and why it matters—which is key for confidence!
- Make self-care a priority by planning time for yourself each week—even if it’s only an hour or two alone at home or a special class just for fun at the gym. This doesn’t mean spending hours pampering yourself (though that can be great!), but even something small like going out for tea with a friend will do wonders for your self-acceptance levels because it means prioritizing some “me time.”
- Mindfulness might not seem like it has much to do with self-acceptance or confidence but trust me when I say that taking even 5 minutes now and then during the day to connect with the present moment will make all the difference—and no one needs to know that you were taking that time out except YOU! It can be as simple as focusing on breathing deeply while sipping your cup of coffee in the morning
Thanks for reading